SUEZ CANAL BLOCKAGE FEARS AS ‘GIGANTIC’ WILLY SHIPMENT HEADS TO BRITAIN
- 11,000 penis products are floating to Britain down the infamous shipping route.
- The canal was the scene of a 2021 blockage that caused global chaos
- The boss of a stag do firm is ‘terrified’ the massive willy shipment could do the same – and said it ‘would be the biggest c*** block in the history of mankind’
THERE are fears the Suez Canal could get blocked again by a gigantic shipment of willies.
Over 11,000 penis products are heading to the UK via the infamous Egyptian shipping route.
There was global chaos two years ago when a massive container ship got stuck and blocked the canal for six days.
Now a jittery businessman fears he’d be blamed if the world was once again brought to its knees by his huge stash of blow-up dolls and 6ft willies.
“It would be the biggest c*** block in the history of mankind,” said Matt Mavir, boss of stag and hen party firm Last Night of Freedom.
Around 12 per cent of the planet’s trade passes through the route, which links Asia and Europe.
However, that briefly stopped in March 2021 when a huge ship, the Ever Given, got jammed and stopped movement in either direction.
Since then, the canal’s witnessed a series of near misses.
Last year an oil tanker became stranded while in May, a 620ft tanker became stuck – sparking gridlock.
And Matt is praying extra hard that the willies come to Britain without issue.
“Nobody wants to be blamed for bringing the world to a grinding halt with a boat full of willies,” said the businessman.
“It would be a double blow too, as we’ve been waiting to get our hands on these willies for well over a year.”
The ship’s stash includes:
- 6,000 blow-up blokes
- 3,000 portable peckers
- 2,000 giant 6ft willies
The Tyneside firm flogs thousands of cheeky penis props each year, with the willy pinata the best-seller.
However, issues in the global supply chain have left them in short supply.
China’s draconian covid lockdowns and sky-high shipping costs have meant it has been almost impossible to get plastic penis products imported.
“As a hen party provider, rude accessories are our bread and butter, so not having any willies come into stock has been hard to swallow,” added Matt.
“That’s why we are so desperate for these to just arrive – and without causing a global crisis on route.”
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